2018 was a year of travel and adventure. Together we went on 8 trips with two of them to Sydney, Australia and twice to San Diego. I took the girls to Legoland. Last year, Scott asked me where I saw our family in 10 years and I said, "Traveling. I want to see us traveling." So this year when opportunity presented itself, we leapt at the chance. Instead of giving material goods to each other as gifts, we gave adventure. For Christmas, we gave each other a trip to Disneyland. It was a better gift than legos or baby dolls could ever be. I learned how to pack a smaller suitcase, about the magic of packing cubes and how to navigate TSA lines with children. We figured out if it was cheaper to drive and park at the airport or grab an Uber ride. The kids became more flexible. They tried new foods and did new things. They learned how to use all the features on their Kindles. I traveled a few times with just the girls and we learned how to best work together when there was only one adult in charge.
2018 also was a year of construction. We started remodeling our basement in March and finished up in August. It was loud, dirty and disruptive. However, it was all worth it. I learned a lot about construction and project management. We now have an amazing space and I’m working to decorate it. Our new sectional comes at the end of January and there may have been a massive IKEA trip to outfit the space. The kids are excited for room to roam, especially in the dark days of winter.
I kept reading and consumed 47 books. I went through spurts of reading a book a day to going weeks without picking up a novel. I attempted to read two classics and made it halfway through them. Moby Dick is taking forever and Ishmael uses too many words to describe anything. I attempted to read the Bible but lost stream halfway through the year.
I wrote a lot, went on a press trip to Vancouver and explored my curiosity. I took a break from work writing and dove into personal essays along with writing workshops. I just explored writing and where it could go. I have a feeling I'll be doing more of that in the coming year.
Photo by Kelsey Moll
2018 was a year of personal acceptance for me. In February, I accepted my body shape and then began taking a medication to help me shed some of my excess body. I lost over 30 pounds. I worked out over 267 times and loved about 220 of those workouts. I ate amazing food because it was amazing. I grew into me. I accepted me for me.
Photo by Kelsey Moll
There was fear in 2018 too. Fear of failure. Fear of death. Fear of disease. I went to the eye doctor in early December because I had been having some vision issues when driving to the gym in the early morning. I had decided, I was getting older and it was time for glasses. I never envisioned double vision was a serious health concern. I had even seen my regular doctor the week before and hadn’t mentioned it because I truly believed, I just had aging eyes. The double vision lead to massive testing and a ban on driving for awhile. I had an MRI where I made sure to take the Xanax that was offered. I took all my yoga lessons and breathed while chanted, “I do hard things. I crush hard things” and I counted when the tech told me I had two minutes of testing and three more minutes and that it wouldn’t be much longer. I swallowed my fear as I waited to hear back on blood work for for myasthenia gravitas, a disease which affects both humans and canines, one which steals your muscles abilities to function and means you can not exercise. My blood work came back clean. I felt joy release in my heart. After the MRI, my doctor called and I breathlessly answered the phone. She started by saying, You do not have cancer. You do not have MS. I sighed. She then said, however you do have a pituitary adenoma which is a benign tumor in the pituitary gland. I meet with a Neuro Endocrinologist soon where we’ll discuss how to treat it. I’m also getting glasses with a special prism to enable me to drive without double vision. I’m looking forward to seeing one of everything soon because while seeing double is interesting, it is confusing.
While waiting to hear back on my blood work, I was so worried about having to give up exercise. It is something I love to do. It is something I feel honored to have the ability to do. My body can move. My body can stretch. My body is strong. My body is not perfect but I love what my body can do. And I’ve never been more grateful than I am today for everything I have in my life from a wonderful family to a body that can move and an ability to explore and find adventure.
