The Big Lie

We've all been sold a big, fat lie.

If you exercise intensely and eat right, you too can be thin.  But this is the lie. This is the truth for some people but not for everyone.

I workout 5 to 6 times a week. I eat a fairly healthy diet and I am, unfortunately, far from thin. I am strong though. This used to upset me and I have done every workout and diet under the sun to lose weight. But here is the kicker, I come from a long line of people who could (and probably did) survive a great famine. Our bodies latch onto calories and store them away for lean times. There haven't been any lean times in my life. My body does not need to convert food to fat. I mean my body didn't even do things the right way when I was pregnant. Most people gain 25-30 lbs when pregnant. I gained 8, which I quickly lost once the baby and all the water I retained was released.

Since the birth of Maggie and the loss of my father, I've been working hard to lose what I call, Grief Weight.  I didn't gain weight while I was pregnant and left the hospital after having Maggie at my lowest weight in a long time. But then I gained weight sitting on the couch trying to get Maggie to latch and pumping for hours. Then I gained more weight while eating my feelings when my Dad got sick and died. A few years into that, I finally decided to get healthy again. I started working out. I started slowly and built up to 5-6 times a week. I did two Whole30s. I logged my food. I ate only salads for lunch. I made Scott enjoy zoodles for dinner instead of proper pasta (probably a good nutritional choice over all). I worked my butt off and while I lost some weight, I was still at an unhealthy weight.

This year when I headed in for my physical, I knew my doctor would have "the weight" talk with me again but I had already decided to not care. I know, I eat well. I know, I exercise enough. I also know that my body doesn't always respond. Instead she surprised me. She congratulated me on my A1C numbers which I had progressively lowered over the past year. She also said she could tell that I was working out and eating well. Then she suggested that I try a weight loss drug. I think I was shocked. First of all, a doctor suggesting a weight loss drug? Aren't those the drugs you buy on street corners that cause heart attacks and rage but help you drop massive amounts of weight in too short of a time? Second of all, THERE IS A WEIGHT LOSS DRUG? WHY AREN'T PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT THIS?

I did some research and talked to my best friend (a nurse practitioner) about the drug. I talked to Scott about it. I questioned if I was trying to find a short cut until Scott pointed out that I had already tried all the conventional ways to get to a healthy weight. In February, I began taking Victoza and now Saxenda (basically the same drug, just different dose levels). There are some side effects (mostly gastrointestinal) but overall they weren't too bad. I have lost weight since I started the drug without drastically changing my diet or exercise plan. I have gotten back to logging my food which is always a good check-in for myself. I mean if you don't want to log that you've had ice cream, maybe you shouldn't have the ice cream! But I've lost almost 20 pounds while just continuing on with my usual eating patterns. At first I decided not to track my food and just see what happened. I lost 6 lbs the first two weeks and that confirmed for me that I needed extra help to rebalance my hormones. For me, eating less calories than you put out does not mean I'll lose weight. That is not how my body works. Watching my calories and choosing healthy food over unhealthy food is of course best for me (and well everyone).

I've also had an epiphany. I often sit at the swimming pool watching lots of kids at swim lessons. They come in all different shapes and sizes. Some are lanky and long. Some are deliciously chubby. They all have different shapes. This is how their bodies are made. The long and lanky ones will be applauded for being thin but they may not be in shape later in life. The chubby ones will always fight their shape but they may end up to be the strongest ones, the ones in the best shape. We are all born with a particular build, shaped by our genetics and family history. Yes, we all need to eat healthy, fresh food and move our bodies to be in the best shape but you know what, I'm never going to have a flat six-pack. I could do 1,000 crunches a day and only eat lettuce and I'd still have a pooch. That is how my body is made. I do, however have extremely muscular legs. They get strong quickly when I workout. It is not hard for me to find definition there. Others have flat stomachs and cut shoulders but thick thighs because we are all built differently.