Pumping the Race

Exclusively pumping is like running a marathon. You start out with the best of intentions and goals. You'll pump as long as this child needs you to pump! You pump 8-10 times a day. It is mind-numbling boring and sometimes a bit painful. The amount of time you spend pumping each day never seems to decrease. Sometimes you'll ask for advice on how to get more efficient and people will tell you to throw in another pump session to boost your output. You pump in the strangest of places because while you may travel away from home, your boobs can't leave the pump behind. You'll waver. You'll stop at the water station and think, I'm not going to finish this race. I'm ready to throw in the pump.

And if the pumping marathon finish line is one year, I'm getting ready to quit the race halfway through. I've been sprinting for the last 13.1 miles and I'm done. My training partner keeps trying to trip me up. She doesn't like waiting for the milk to be produced but won't drink from the tap. She's getting more wiggly and doesn't want to sit while I pump. Her cohort sister is either a great supporter (MORE PUMP, MAMA!) or a great hinderance (NO PUMP, MAMA!). And my body keeps rebelling. I've had mastitis three times, three painful times. My output has decreased with each instance and Maggie is thriving on a mix of breast milk, formula and solid food. I've made it this far and I'm done. This is the end of my breastfeeding career and I can say it was a wild one. 

All in all though, I'm pretty proud of what I've accomplished with breastfeeding it certainly didn't go the way I expected but little in life does. In some ways, it was easier than I expected and in other ways, it was WAY more difficult than I thought it would be. I fed both my babies with some breast milk for some period of time which is great. Now I get to reclaim hours of my day back. I won't have to rush home to pump. I'm a bit giddy at the freedom, I see within my grasp. I'm also excited to really start exercising again. Each time I've tried while pumping, I've gotten sick. 

I do have some guilt at weaning from the pump. Logically, I know this is worthless guilt as I've done everything to help Maggie breast feed and in the end get breast milk but emotionally, I feel a bit like I'm letting Maggie down. The heart and the head don't always meet in a logical place. The thing is at some point I am going to wean from the pump. I may be doing it a few months earlier and I really can't continue with the status quo. Three bouts with mastitis just does a person in! I have started the pump weaning process and I plan to take it slow so that I don't get sick again. I've been pumping 4x a day and shortening the amount of time that I pump. I was pumping 30 minutes each time. Now I pump 25 minutes each time and I'll be dropping that down to 22 minutes after a few days. I'll continue dropping down the minutes I pump until I'm down to 5 minutes when I'll start dropping pumps. It's a long, slow process but one I'm trying to be careful with. 

All in all, this little face made all the pumping worth it. Her cubby little thighs are proof of my efforts which is a reward in itself. Now we're moving on to a new stage in her food adventure and I can't wait to continue to introduce her to all the yummy food out there. She's already a huge fan of sweet potatoes, apples and bananas. 

Tales of an Exclusive Pumper

I've always held exclusive pumpers in high respect. Why would anyone subject themselves to hours of pumping every day just to give their child breast milk when there is perfectly fine formula? Pumping is not comfortable and the pump never gets faster at pulling milk out like a baby does. There is so much cleaning involved and logistics, so many logistics. You can't pump at the park in an Ergo.

When Maggie was a few days old, I told the doctor that I'd give her a month to get better at nursing and that I just couldn't see myself pumping for every feed. And yet somehow, here we are almost 17 weeks in and I pump for every feed. I don't see myself stopping anytime soon. I'm honestly not sure why I do it. Formula would probably be easier. I could pick up a few cans at Costco, pre-mix the bottles at night and not worry about when I needed to pump. But there is a part of me that says, I'm making enough milk for Maggie and breast milk is potentially better for her so I keep on pumping.

It is limiting. We can't really go on any long car trips/flights right now because I have to pump. The good side to this is we can't really go on any long car trips/flights right now. We also have to leave playdates before Molly is ready because I have to go home and pump. Molly does not like the pump. I often hear, "Mommy, No PUMP!" It's hard explaining all this to an almost 2 1/2 year old when I can't quite fully explain it to myself.

Maggie usually sleeps through the night and yet I don't. I get up to pump. It's a quiet thing and I've started to enjoy my middle of the night sessions (I might not get much alone time). I'm quick and efficient at 3 a.m. I head to the den where I pump while checking Twitter and Facebook. Then I put my efforts into a cooler and head back to bed.

During the day, I try to pump when Scott is here (in the morning) or Molly is napping (in the afternoon) as toddlers can get into quick trouble when their Mommies are busy. I still usually end up having two pump sessions while alone with the girls as I'm pumping 6-7 times a day.

I figured out the other day that I spend about 4 1/2 hours of my day making milk and cleaning up. That is a HUGE chunk of time! I will admit to looking forward to getting that time back when I pump wean. The funny thing though is that I think I spend less time on milk production with Maggie than I did with Molly. I used to breast feed Molly, pump and then bottle feed her the results. I also spent a lot more time worrying if I made enough milk for Molly. Due to my former breast reduction, I've had to supplement both girls. This time around though I've been producing more milk.

I thought I'd lay out my tips for future pumpers who might stumble upon this post. I've gotten some great support from ex-pumpers and since it helps keep me going, I feel like I need to pass it along.

1. Get a cooler for pumping in the middle of the night with a re-useable ice pack. In the beginning, you might be pumping 3-4 times a night and you want to be efficient. I pump, put my stuff (flanges, bottles, etc) back in the cooler along with the filled bottle and then go back to sleep. 
2. Have two sets of everything so that you don't have to wash your parts after every pump.
3. Alternatively you can keep your parts in a ziplock bag and place it in the fridge after every pump throughout the day. Then give your parts a good wash at night. 
4. Don't be afraid to supplement. I don't have to supplement Maggie as much as I did Molly which is nice but sometimes Maggie gets hungry and I just don't have enough of my milk to give her. That is when formula comes to the rescue. 
5. Keep a regular pump schedule. It's important that your body thinks that the baby needs milk. I try to pump as many times as Maggie takes a bottle.  

Preparing for Breast Feeding

Today I'm going to talk about boobs, lactation and breast feeding! I'm about to re-enter a time in my life where it really becomes all about my boobs (for better or worse). I'm feeling a bit more confident this time around since my experience with breast feeding Molly. This isn't to say that I'm not nervous about a few things. I worry about if Chicken Nugget will latch well. I worry about if my boobs will perform. But I know there are a few things I can do to prepare for a positive breast feeding experience. 

I've re-read Making More Milk, stocked up on lactation herbs and purchased some Soothies Gel Pads. I have a stock of Lactation Cookie Dough in the chest freezer and a HUGE bag of oatmeal in the pantry. 

I found my Breast Friend Pillow (horrible name, great product) and put it in my nursing station which also houses some granola bars, lanolin, burp clothes and my trusty water bottle. 

I've talked to my doctor about my breast feeding plan and I've gotten the ball rolling on renting a hospital grade breast pump. I found a great place that both bills my insurance and will deliver to the hospital. I've put the breast feeding support group schedule in my calendar. Now all I can do is wait and see how Chicken Nugget and I do as Team Boob. I'm hoping she's as good of a partner as her sister was because that made it a lot (selfishly) easier on me!

Breast Feeding after a Breast Reduction

I’ve been doing this for more than 7 months. I've been obsessively worrying and quite awesomely breastfeeding my baby. In fact, I'm doing it better than I ever thought I would.

Let me give you a bit of background before I dive into the breastfeeding part of this story. In 1999, I went to the doctor for a routine annual exam. While there she asked if I would be interested in a breast reduction as my breasts were WHOA big, not big, WHOA big. I enthusiastically said yes and she referred me to the surgeon. After months of prep, I had my breast reduction and it was one of the best things I've ever done. I had almost 5 lbs of flesh removed from my chest and I was left with 38DDs. After the weight was lifted from my chest (pun intended), I ran several half-marathons, one marathon and gained so much self confidence. The only downside to my reduction I was told was that I may not be able to breastfeed when I had babies. So when I became pregnant with Molly, I was worried but I kept thinking, "At least there is formula so my baby won't starve."

I, however, did not know that breastfeeding would become my parenting hill to die on. Once Molly was born, I was determined to breastfeed her as much as I could and I knew in order to do that I would have to be very determined and kind to myself. 

Molly now gets about 70% breast milk and 30% formula. All women are different. I’ve heard that almost all women get some milk after a reduction, it is just reduced.

Scott has been super supportive through this whole process. He never told me I was crazy. He has admitted that he often thinks that I am crazy when we talk about it but he also said that he was proud of me for being so passionate. I remember nights in the beginning when we were using the SNS system when he would hold the tube and pour the formula in while Molly breastfed. There would often be spillage and formula would get everywhere. Luckily it made us laugh, if not a bit sticky but it really helped me to have such a supportive partner through this journey. 

Here is what I did to ensure my breastfeeding success (all the while knowing that I might not be successful).

I met with a Lactation Consultant while pregnant. I had flat nipples and she gave me this product called, Supple Cups to draw the nipples out. They were great! I couldn’t use them before 38 weeks though as they can stimulate labor. I also met with the LC twice after Molly’s birth and attended a breastfeeding support group. The support group messed with my head though. It was frustrating to hear women saying they had supply issues and they were giving their children 5 ounces while I was only getting about 2 ounces in Molly at that time. The LC also taught me how to do breast compressions which helped me get more milk out.

I read everything on bfar.org (a breastfeeding after reduction online forum) and joined the forums.

I read “The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding” which can be a bit too preachy but I found educational. I also read “Making More Milk” by Diane West who also had a breast reduction. I found it very interesting! I would recommend reading these before birth though and making notes to remind yourself for those early days.

I got a hospital pump and started pumping immediately. I pumped 8-10x a day after breastfeeding in the beginning. Then after a few weeks, I moved it down to 5-8x and am now at 3x a day, always after breastfeeding. I really hate pumping but I’ve made a committment to myself to do this for 9 months.  I now use a Medela Pump in Style but I used the hospital pump for about two months. They have better motors and extract more. The baby is best at extraction but the pump is good too.

I used a SNS system to feed Molly. I would personally buy one from Medela instead of using the stupid syringe next time. I think it would prevent the 3 a.m. formula spills all over the bed. Scott helped me with this a lot. He’d hold the syringe and pour the formula in. We did this for about 3 weeks and then Molly refused to latch with the tube on. She’d latch without it so I moved to breastfeeding and following with a bottle. Molly has a great latch though and will eat off anything. She doesn’t care, just give her the foods (she is like this about most solid food too)! I also put her to the breast as soon as I could after birth. I had a c-section so it was about 45 minutes after she was born but she latched and we’ve been going ever since.

I take a product called Lactate Support from Gaia Herbs to help increase my supply. I also took Goat’s Rue which is supposed to regrow ducts along with Go-Lacta from Sugarpod Naturals. I take twice the recommended amount of Lactate Support as I’ve heard you need alot of Fenugreek. I smell like maple. I make people want pancakes.

I also ate a lot of lactation cookies to also help my supply. I'm not sure if they work but they are delicious!
http://pumpstationblog.blogspot.com/2009/05/milk-and-cook...;

I have oatmeal almost everyday for breakfast, again for supply. Have you noticed a trend, if it helps with supply, I do it!

Through this process I've learned that breastfeeding is not an all or nothing process. You can exclusively breastfeed, you can supplement with formula, you can feed your baby exclusively with formula. Whatever you decide is the best for your family. You just need to remember the most important rule of all - Feed the Baby!

I've also learned that almost everyone has troubles breastfeeding and that there is no need to judge people if they breastfeed or not. You do not know what they have gone through to arrive at their decision. I have two friends who did not have reductions who exclusively formula feed their babies. One hated breastfeeding and the other had severe supply issues. They are following the golden rule, "Feed the Baby". They are great Moms and we are able to trade tips about formula selection and bottles. 

In the end, I'm so happy that I've been able to breast feed Molly as long as I have. I'm also still happy that I had that breast reduction. It helped me so much.